There was a federal poll last year, sadly, so we guess that's going to be a while off. It doesn't seem that long ago that we were voting in the State election, so we suppose that's also going to be later rather than sooner as well.

So we have a bit of time yet to decide where our vote will be heading at the next ballot. However, we think it will be for the party that bans all unisex christian names. End the confusion we scream.

This all came around following last week's column where we explained how punting via an online betting agency has been a blessing on an otherwise long and boring lockdown Saturday afternoon.

We outlined how we endured a lean Saturday the previous weekend, but hit back by backing the winner on the second at Ballarat on the Sunday, praising the performance of jockey Jamie Kah, who we said produced a smart ride. We concluded by stating that we'll follow him in the future. All good until we received a terse missive from This Column's Harshest Critic (TCHC) early on Wednesday, informing that Jamie Kah is in fact, female.

Really? Well, we've never claimed to be an authority on racing, a fact we acknowledged in the column. Now, it could be argued that a professional columnist would do a bit a research before submitting an article. We counter by saying this paper only costs $1.70 an issue or two buck a week for subscribers. What do you expect for that? Hemingway?

At least we were able to correct the mistake in the online version of this dribble.

But the fact is that once there were two types of names. Male and Female. Males were named George or Graham or Michael or Ken or Phillip or similar. Women went by Julie, Jill, Anna, Ruth, Susan and so on. Even names that could be employed by either sex, for example, Toni, or Tony, had different spellings. All this made life easier. So easy, in fact, that someone decided to change the rules.

Now it's madness. Women and men go by Jamie, Charli, Brook, Billy, Jess, Jo, Chris. The list is endless.

We suspect this is a right wing plot devised by Donald Trump to win November's US election. The theory would be to confuse the electorate so much that they'll return his criminally incompetent government. Don't laugh, it worked in Australia last year. So a stand must be made before the world descends into further chaos. Unisex names have to be punted... for the sake of democracy. The party that makes this pledge will have our support. Unless it's One Nation. Or the Nationals. Or that shooting mob. We'll continue to follow Jamie Kah though. For she is our favourite jockey.

(Stop press: Jamie Kah rode a double last Saturday. This writer didn't back either runner. Punting. It's a mug's game.)