As usual, Editor Bell (EB) is the problem. She's wandered off on leave for about the 300th time this year and is now luxuriating at an expensive and exclusive resort at Coopernook or somewhere.

So as is the norm when EB is away, this correspondent steps into the Hot Seat (HS). This, unfortunately, has placed us in direct confrontation with our usually affable deputy, Lauren Green.

For we were just minutes into the pro tem role when we issued this proclamation: "Under no circumstances will any story in any way involving the cultural arts appear on the front page. News stories up front, those with a cultural bent can go somewhere near the ads for garage sales."

Mrs Green, a major player in the local arts scene, was incensed.

"You halfwit (or a word similar ending in wit),'' she snarled.

"There's a major exhibition coming up at the art gallery soon and that should be on page three at least.''

"There's an art gallery in town?'' we responded.

"Let's face it, if you've seen one painting, you've seen 'em all.''

The now aggrieved Mrs Green shot us a glare that could sink a 1000 ships.

"Philistine,'' she muttered.

After a brief lull, Mrs Green reminded us that the Taree Eisteddfod will be rolling around soon.

"We need some preview stories,'' she snapped.

Now, the Taree Eisteddfod and this correspondent go back along way. Back, indeed to the event's genesis in the late 1960s, when we were incarcerated in the Catholic Education system. And the memories aren't good.

"No eisteddfod stories,'' we warned. "At least not until EB returns.''

A now furious Mrs Green threatened to revive her role in Les Miserables (songs and all) in the newsroom unless we relented. She even warmed up for a rousing rendition of Look Down (The Beggars). But showing real leadership, we refused to buckle.

"This is a kick in the teeth for we lovers of fine art,'' Mrs Green fumed.

"Not a kick in the teeth,'' we countered.

"It's a kick in the arts.''