My Shout: Kristina Keneally the answer, even in cardboard

Kristina Keneally opening the Moorland to Herons Creek highway bypass in 2010 during her term as NSW Premier.
Kristina Keneally opening the Moorland to Herons Creek highway bypass in 2010 during her term as NSW Premier.

THERE’S only one solution to the political problems that beset our nation at the moment.

For the country has been lurching like a Friday night drunk since 2013 when Tony Abbott was elected PM. Even the coalition had enough sense to get rid of him. However, our current leader is as disappointing as the Roosters’ effort in the NRL final. The federal government is torn by division. Tony Abbott won’t shut up. Pauline Hanson won't go away. Dual citizenships … Manus Island...what else can go wrong? Well, we have the answer to all our woes.

Kristina Keneally – a nation turns its lonely eyes to you, woo woo wo (to borrow from Simon and Garfunkel).

The regular reader of this column would recall that we were an ardent fan of Ms Keneally when she was NSW Premier a few years back. In fact we think we were the only one who voted for her in the 2011 election. Remember the one – Barry ‘Little Old Grange Drinker Me’ O’Farrell won and was Premier for about 15 minutes. Ms Keneally was a regular topic for this piece in those days. The regular reader would recall we’d always add the suffix (sigh) after we mentioned Ms Keneally’s name. This was to indicate how highly we regarded her political nous.

These days Ms Keneally is a commentator on Sky News – a progressive beacon in a sea of conservatives. However, now is the time for a political comeback, Ms Keneally, for Australia’s sake.

We also suggest that Ms Keneally start her own party. Forget Labor, Liberal and the Nationals. We need the Kristina Keneally For Canberra Party (KKFCP).

For we believe that within one term Ms Keneally would solve Australia’s many problems. She would make Australia great again, although perhaps she may have to come up with another slogan.

This all makes so much sense. If Cory Bernardi and heaven forbid, Pauline Hanson can start their own parties, then why can't Ms Keneally?

We think the next federal election is due in 2019 although it wouldn’t surprise if one is called earlier. That doesn’t give the fledgling party much time to get candidates for every seat in the nation. So we’ve already come up with a solution to that conundrum.

When we can’t get actual humans to stand, we’ll run a cardboard cut out of Ms Keneally. Let’s face it, that would still be a better choice for us neglected voters here in the seat of Lyne. A cardboard Ms Keneally or the incumbent? Give us the cardboard every time. And with a bit of luck the actual Ms Keneally Prime Minister would get to visit us from time to time. 

STOP PRESS: This piece was written last Friday. Ms Keneally yesterday announced she is standing for the seat of Bennelong. The real Ms Keneally, not a cardboard cut-out.