Brynne's bedazzled banality is blindingly bad

Full of laughs ... Brynne
Full of laughs ... Brynne
Talk to the hand ... Brynne

Talk to the hand ... Brynne

Where the bedazzled half live ... Brynne

Where the bedazzled half live ... Brynne

Surrounded by sparkles ... Brynne

Surrounded by sparkles ... Brynne

What's it all about?

Nothing. The emperor's new clothes on the rack at Best & Less.

Our View

This disgraceful road-crash of a program would, in a better world, see Channel Seven hauled before some international tribunal and charged with a crime against humanity. It probably had its genesis during a protracted lunch at the infamous Cafe Desperation with brain-fagged execs throwing ever-more ridiculous initiatives at one another and becoming more exuberant with each fresh bottle of Chateau Kyle Sandilands Dry Hock.

The concept: To follow the daily perambulations of Ms Brynne Edelsten, paramour of Geoffrey Edelsten, the noted social butterfly and Melbourne entrepreneur. Brynne, who claims to be 29 — but that might be an IQ score — is a cheerfully inept Texan who enjoys the fantasy lifestyle attending her sugary marriage to Dr Geoff, who is pushing 70 and apparently in denial.

But good on him! Raging against the dying of the light is relatively easy when you are surrounded by glittering objects and reflective surfaces. The ostentatious vulgarity and bling festooning the Edelsten's penthouse is stupendous — a freakshow of reckless bad taste on steroids — matched only by the couple's respective wardrobes. God bless them. They are innocents in a mire of titanic mediocrity that is sure to earn the program an "OMG" rating.

Viewers aware of Matthew 18:9's edict "If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out" might find themselves among a rush of late-night shoppers at Bunnings looking for DIY eye-gouging kits.

It is not so much the fault of the Edelstens — they are hapless publicity junkies craving recognition for something, anything. God's blackest curse should be reserved for the grubs and drones who have thrown discernment to the winds in pursuit of the lowest common denominator.

Viewers driven to despair by the cascading awfulness might, before blinding themselves, care to drop a line to my good friend Kerry Stokes, suggesting a better venue for the network's next creative luncheon could be the staff canteen at McQuorquodale's Industrial Cyanide Inc where a film crew could film the creatives drowning in their own drivel.

Those minor criticisms aside, I loved the show!

In a sentence

The quotation "Any person who allows themselves to be insulted deserves to be" could have been written for this utterly unnecessary squandering of resources.

Best Bit

If there was one, it has been left out.

Worst Bit

Dr Geoff tucking into his favourite dessert.

Next Episode

Thursday, Seven, 7.30pm

Worth Watching Again?





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This story Brynne's bedazzled banality is blindingly bad first appeared on The Sydney Morning Herald.