This is a public service announcement.

If you denizens of Sydney want to flee your COVID-clogged and locked down city, you'd be advised to choose a better location than here. Really, we mean this. For your own peace of mind Sydney people, stay away. This is not a nice place. There's nothing to see here. Move on. Or even better. Stay home.

Just getting into Taree is a trying enough experience. Why, the main road is jammed with cars and outlaw motor cycle gangs.

After what seems like an eternity you'll get to the Martin Bridge, a structure that was nearly swept away in the flood this year. We have catastrophic floods here all the time. Not to mention the devastating bushfires that rip through every summer.

From the bridge you'll get a view of the Manning River, a waterway that is home to thousands of angry bull sharks and other nasties, so it's best not to go for a dip.

You'll be disappointed if you side-step Taree and head straight to the Upper Manning looking for a tree-change. This is like going back in time - to the 1930s to be precise and The Great Depression (TGD).

The Upper Manning (aka Deliverance Country) is populated by dope growing hippies, crazed farmers and National Party voters. Yowies have been spotted there, as has Barnaby Joyce - although curiously, never in the same room. Are they one and the same?

Our beaches? You're kidding. If you're a fan of rock 'n roll you'll half like Old Bar. There's no roll but plenty of rocks. Wallabi Point's just down the way. That's correct, WallabI Point - we're not so good at spellin' up here mate. Then there's Black Head. Would you really want to venture to a place named Black Head?

Massive platoons of Jaws-sized white pointers patrol our coastline. They're ravenous as well, so surfing's not advised.

Forster-Tuncurry and the Great Lakes? It's the Gold Coast sans the entertainment. You'll celebrate several birthdays in the time it takes getting across the bridge from Forster to Tuncurry or vice versa, such is the snail-like pace of the traffic.

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Wallis Lake looks pretty enough, but beware, it's no place for boating, for what seems like every week a wayward whale will capsize an unsuspecting crew.

Then there's Pacific Palms. Pristine. Secluded. Kilometres of national park.

That's probably why it's favoured by serial killers. Sydneysiders, the Manning-Great Lakes is certainly no place to come calling. Not just at the moment anyhoo.

We'll be happy to see you when life returns to something like normal. (It's a good idea to get vaccinated, as well.) When the pandemic's over, we'll roll out the red carpet for you all.

Promise.