Israel, for those unaware, has caused a bit of controversy of late, what with him saying that the gay community is heading for hell and all that. The source of his latest rant is Acts 2:38, which is from the bible. No, not Best Bets, the other bible, the book they read at church.

Unfortunately Izzy, as Falau is fondly known, doesn’t give a time nor a date as to when Jesus might make a John Farnham style comeback.

We wonder why the hell (perhaps a poor choice of word) he wants to come back here anyway. If we recall the hour upon hour of religious study we were forced to endure through during our school days, Jesus ascended to heaven after he’d finished his gig on earth. Now, if heaven is all that it is purported to be, why slum it by paying us a visit? If he’s dropping in expecting to see the Roosters win a premiership then they’re going to have to improve a lot. Then again, he’d probably be a St George supporter… now it’s starting to make a bit of sense. So we can expect Jesus to call in around grand final day on September 30. No time to lose then.

We just wonder what MidCoast Council has planned to mark this occasion. For we assume Jesus won’t limit himself to watching the GF in a corporate box at ANZ Stadium. After Mad Monday celebrations he’s bound to want to have a look around and we would expect a visit to the Mid North Coast would be on his to do list. Actually, council can steal a bit of a march on Port Macquarie by sending an invitation now. Port Macquarie gets enough as it is so it would be nice to grab some bragging rights by securing a visit from JC before he heads up there and probably announces a couple of billion dollars worth of funding for something or other in the Hastings.

We would expect MidCoast Council would need to put someone in charge of the visit and give him or her a fancy title, for that seems the council way. Director of Planning for Jesus Christ's Visit and Possible Armageddon sounds impressive.

Obviously there will be some kind of civic reception. Could we suggest to council that they leave the catering to Jesus, for again, if our religious instruction is correct, he could do some amazing things with a few loaves and a couple of fish.

However, council needs to get onto the State government and get some cash to get the Martin Bridge painted. Let’s face it, the bridge is a disgrace. 

If the government won’t come to the party, then we further suggest council closes it on the day Jesus arrives. That way he can walk across the Mighty Manning.

What an entrance that’ll be. Hallelujah.