My Shout: Time for new tea towels

“A HORSE, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!”

We quote here from Shakespeare’s Richard III in an attempt to lift the tone of today’s discourse. This, we must admit, is long overdue.

However, to be honest we don’t really need a horse, and Struggle Street would hardly be called a kingdom. A slum maybe, but never a kingdom (and that’s possibly being a bit hard on slums). 

No, forget horses, What we badly need on Struggle Street are tea towels. Brand new and preferably clean tea towels. 

Some history here. A few years ago our employer organised a lecture on OH&S issues for all this organisation’s movers and shakers. Some of the movers and shakers were unavailable, so this correspondent was sent along to make up the numbers. We spent most of the day staring out of the window, just like school, however what we can recall is the lecturer getting particularly animated about tea towels, especially dirty tea towels. She gave a lengthy sermon about tea towels being notorious hangouts for germs and the like.

“Tea towels have no place in the work place,’’ the lecturer thundered at one point, awaking us from our noon slumber.

We recountered this the other night at Struggle Street, when, for the first time since Yuletide, we decided to do the washing up. Having completed that chore, we went looking for a tea towel to finish the job.

What we found wasn’t pretty. We’re not sure of the vintage of the tea towels, but we wouldn’t be surprised if they were first used at a field hospital during one of those bloody battles in the First World War. And it looked as though they hadn’t been cleaned since. That OH&S lecturer would have been apoplectic if she’d seen them. We’re probably fortunate we didn't get a visit from the health department or some other government organisation. We attempted washing the filthy rags, but it made little difference. A couple of t-shirts deputised for their tea towel cousins in wiping the now pristine plates, knives and forks etc. However, we determined that before we do the washing up again – about mid-November - we better buy some fresh tea towels.

Problem is we have no idea where to purchase them. Why, we’ve scoured the local CBD and can’t for the life of us find anywhere that sells tea towels. This is a problem that perhaps should be discussed at the next Manning Valley Businessman’s Group pis… gathering. We’ll mention this to Alan Tickle.

Coincidentally a couple of colleagues recently received a couple of tea towels as gifts for doing a good deed for a reader.

Perhaps we could follow their lead… do a good deed and be rewarded with new state of the art tea towels from a grateful punter.

Do a good deed. Yeah, that’s going to happen.