MidCoast the Movie set to win an Oscar...or a Dally M

MidCoast Council – The Movie.

It’s understood the heavyweights at MidCoast are considering a venture into film following the lead of the fabulously unsuccessful ‘Greater Taree – The Movie’ parts I and II that hit the screens a few years back.

“All the ingredients for a blockbuster are there,’’ an industry heavyweight whispered to this correspondent.

“Drama, intrigue, a touch of pathos – this will surely win an Oscar, or at least a Dally M.’’

As was the case with the Greater Taree extravaganzas, leading Hollywood actors will play the majority of the main roles to increase the movie’s profile. That fact that some are now dead won’t matter one iota, a producer assured. 

The movie will open with MidCoast mayor David West (Yul Brynner) reluctantly agreeing to call a special meeting of council to discuss a plan from recently resigned general manager Glenn Handford (Grigor Taylor) to shift MidCoast’s headquarters into the Manning Aquatic Leisure Centre. Councillors Peter Epov (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and Katherine Bell (Demi Moore) moved the meeting be held on Good Friday, despite the fact no other councillors would be available. This was bitterly opposed by Cr Brad Christensen (Russell Crowe), who immediately made several hundred posts on his Facebook page.

Meanwhile Manning River Times editor-in-chief Toni Bell (Nicole Kidman) has heard of ructions in the powerful lobby group, the Businessmen Who Meet Once A Month To Get Pissed (BWMOAMTGP). Her senior journalist/sports writer/columnist (Brad Pitt) is onto the story and will infiltrate the group’s next meeting, and possibly a few more after that until he gets the scoop. On the political scene, Member for Lyne Dr David Gillespie (Rex Harrison) and his State colleague Steve Bromhead (Leonard Nimroy) have done… well, nothing much, so their roles may have to be reviewed. 

In another twist prominent Taree business couple Gary Bridge (Clint Eastwood) and his wife Tanya (Scarlet Johansson) have denied rumours they are plotting a takeover of the local chamber of commerce. Former Greater Taree mayors Paul Hogan (Paul Cronin) and Eddie Loftus (John Meillion) are said to be behind the plan and were snapped by photographer Ashley Cleaver (Woody Harrelson) dining with the Bridges at The Valley Cafe, run by ex-Taree councillor Trent Jamieson (John Goodman).

This will set the stage for a thrilling finale. Will the council meeting go ahead? Will council headquarters move to the MALC? Will BWMOAMTGP be infiltrated? Will there be a chamber of commerce coup?

“This will be a cinematographic classic,’’ the executive producer predicted. “Hollywood here we come.’’