There are some songs that shouldn't be heard again

While not the most musical of types, there are songs that even this correspondent knew were going to be classics from the first time we heard them.

Hey Jude by the Beatles, Stairway to Heaven from Led Zeppelin, Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters, Hotel California by The Eagles and Johnny Horten’s Battle of New Orleans...absolute works of musical genius.

Wordsmiths have waxed lyrical over these and other songs for generations. However, on the flip side, there are others we never, ever want to hear again for various reasons. They include:

Perfect by Ed Sheeran and others. Now, this is a pleasant enough tune we suppose. However, a close friend of this correspondent plays it ad nauseam to the point where we would gladly undergo root canal therapy instead of listening to Mr Sheeran (and others) warble about a lass who he believes to be perfect. Enough Ed, for the sake of our sanity, enough.

Abba’s I do I do I do I do. Sorry, I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t.

The mother of all dreadful ditties remains Achy Breaky Heart by the lamentable Billy Ray Cyrus. Anyone who played any part in the recording of this outrage should have been hauled before the International Court of Justice at the Hague and charged with crimes against humanity. The fact he spawned Miley is another reason to throw Billy Ray into the slammer.

Anything sung by Duran Duran. Musically speaking the 1980s was a lean decade. That’s why we spent all our spare time watching footy and drinking beer. Bands had bad hair and worse music and the at the bottom of the pile was was the synthpop (what ever that is) mob known as Duran Duran. From England, we think and they were awful. Just the thought of their ‘hit’ Hungry Like A Wolf is driving us to drink. Schooner of new thanks and quickly.

Justin Bieber. We can’t name one of his songs. We fully intend to keep it that way.

I Just Called To Say I Love You, an effort from Stevie Wonder. This is a bit like Mr Sheeran’s Perfect. Quite a nice song, however, when this correspondent first ventured overseas back in the 1980s to escape Duran Duran, it seemed to follow us. It was ubiquitous. Every bar, brot...art gallery or place of worship we called into seemed to be playing it. Even when we arrived back in Oz the first thing we heard was ‘I just called’ etc. Thanks for the memories Stevie, but we’ll be happy never to hear it again.

Bop Girl. We can’t remember the name of the lass who sang this (see 1980s, watching footy and drinking beer). It’s a pity we can remember the song.

There are many others, but space is limited. Instead we’ll settle down and listen to some quality music. Now, where did we put our Johnny Horten CD?