IN the words of a former Prime Minister, this correspondent remains alert, but not alarmed.
However, we are concerned that this town, or city, or whatever it is, could be threatened by an airborne attack. Terrorists? Well, at this stage we can’t be sure. In these uncertain times, who can be… um… certain of anything? We are fortunate that we kept the inspirational fridge magnet sent to every home by the then federal government (or at least every patriot’s home) back in 2003 warning us about the possibility of a terrorist attack. There is no doubt that those magnets saved Australia. However, the events of a recent Saturday rammed home to this correspondent the need to stay alert. We were walking in the general vicinity of Wynter Street, near Triple C, Taree City Centre, or whatever it’s called, when we were targeted. At this stage we won’t call this a terrorist attack… but it may well have been.
For not once, but four times a crazed crow swooped this unsuspecting correspondent. The thing was as big as the dragons from Game of Thrones. There was a maniacal look in its eyes and we fear it could have been ISIS-trained. We’re certainly not an expert on terrorism. Or crows for that matter. But there has to be some connection with crows, or at least one crow (perhaps a lone wolf) suddenly attacking innocent members of the public. We narrowly avoided serious injury by dodging the crow’s attempts to relieve us of our of scalp and sought sanctuary in a nearby service station. Here we had a chilling conversation with a fellow victim.
“I thought it was just me,’’ the victim said, still viably shaken from an earlier incident.
“It had three goes at me yesterday.’’
Meanwhile the attack-crow circled above, menacingly. We wondered whether we should ring the police, or ASIO, or the SAS or maybe WIRES. However, the crow, perhaps thinking its job was done, flew off, probably looking for a new target.
At this stage we’re unaware if Australia’s National Terrorism Threat Level (ANTTAL) has been raised since this incident, but we sincerely hope it has. We probably should have contacted Pauline Hanson with this news of this new possible terror threat, because we’re sure she would have taken it seriously and taken some action.
Are terrorist groups radicalising Australia's birdlife? We can’t say for sure, but certainly this can’t be ruled out.
And consider this – the collective noun for a group of crows is murder. That’s right. A murder of crows.
And will this stop with crows? What’s next – dive bombing ducks? Suicide bomber sparrows?
The threat is ever-present. What sort of world do we live in when we can’t even trust our native birdlife.
It’s flocking frightening. (Okay, sorry about that one).