Brazen thieves have targeted Struggle Street’s mango harvest and desperate growers say they will take matters into their own hands unless action is taken.

To explain Struggle Street is well known as the Manning’s mango growing bread basket. We understand this is possibly mangling a metaphor, but that’s of no concern here for this is a serious matter.

And as such we Struggle Street mango growers will not stand by idly and while our crops are being stolen.

We would hope that vigilante groups don’t start patrolling Struggle Street if the thefts continue, however, nothing can be ruled out.

For we Struggle Street denizens will do what we have to do.

Mango thieves have been attacking the trees late at night. And we say attacking, we’re mean attacking.

Whole branches, loaded with succulent mangoes, have been cut from the verdant trees. These people are nothing but criminals and should be dealt with accordingly.

It is now coming into peak mango season in Struggle Street. Some trees are groaning under the weight of the fruit. 

Of course this correspondent is a long term resident at Struggle Street and chairman of the Struggle Street Action Group and Mango Growers Association (SSAGAMGA). This is a very elite organisation with a membership of one at the moment.

And as is the case every second year, we’re enjoying a bounteous season. While we’ve yet to be targeted by the thieves, a tree near our shanty was denuded just last week, a group of mango snatchers arriving in the early hours of the morning.

“The mangoes aren’t even ripe yet,’’ a neighbour, whose dog disturbed the raiding party, said.

“These people must be desperate.’’

Of course it’s not only humans we mango harvesters have to contend with.

Soon those airborne raiders from the Upper Manning will be raiding our trees. It’ll be like the Battle of Britain all over again as flying foxes descend in their thousands. We’ll be under siege. 

But the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. We shall fight them in our backyards. We’ll fight them in our front yards. We shall never surrender, to borrow loosely from Winston Churchill.

So it is fair to say that between mango poachers and squadrons of flying foxes, life is fraught at Struggle Street for the moment.

But we Struggle Street residents are a hardy bunch. We’ve been down this road before. 

However, we’ve noticed in the last couple of weeks we’ve moved up a couple of notches in the social scene.

Acquaintances we have seen since the last time our mango tree bloomed have taken to calling around to inquire about our general health and well being.

“The mangoes are looking good this year,’’ they say in passing.

“I must pop around again to say hello, probably in a week or so. Should I bring a bag?’’

Being a magnanimous type, we’ve always given the fruit away in other years. However, what with budgetary constraints hitting hard in 2017, we shall be adopting a new policy, to be known as ‘stubbies for mangoes.’

The age of entitlement is over, as former federal treasurer Joe Hockey noted a couple of years back.

There’ll be no more free mangoes. Instead we shall demand payment in kind. Anyone who wants a famous Struggle Street mango can come up with some hard cash – or at least a couple of stubbies – Carlton Dry is our preferred tipple. (Please to not embarrass by offering any of those boutique beers.)

But in the meantime we shall be stepping up security.

Does anyone have a guard do we can borrow for a couple of weeks?