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SHE is just 16-years-old but has shown maturity and strength in talking about her horrific experience of domestic violence in an effort to raise awareness.
Despite her physical and emotional ordeal, a young Hastings woman has continued to study at school and maintain employment.
She hopes that in the future there will be more education for women about domestic violence and the warning signs to look out for.
“I think it (education) should be spread around so that girls are aware of it and it doesn’t happen to anyone else,” she told the Port News.
At the beginning of their relationship, her then partner did not show any signs that he would be physical or emotionally violent towards her.
“I realised that it wasn’t my fault, although he did blame me for it,” she said.
The young woman said people have to think of themselves as the better person after coming out of a violent relationship.
“You should never let it get you down and think of the positive things in life,” she said.
To stop suffering from recurring nightmares, she has positive outlets.
“I use it (art) to distract me from them,” she said.
Her experience with domestic violence occurred over a series of incidents.
The partner would control aspects of her life, including checking her phone constantly, choosing the clothes that she could wear and selecting the people she could see.
“You don’t really think much of it because you are obviously madly in love with the person,” she said.
“You pretty much forget about the bad things in a way.”
Over time, her partner started physically hurting her and would blame his actions on her.
“You kind of put yourself down as a person because obviously you lower yourself down to their level and you believe you are just as worthless as they tell you that you are,” she said.
She said her partner was a whole different person in front of her family, but behind closed doors with just the two of them, he had another nature.
For a long time the girl was told by her partner to keep quiet about the abuse and she complied.
She eventually confided in a friend about the actions of her partner.
“He helped me change my mind set, because at first I was so wrapped up in this guy that I thought nothing could go wrong and everything that did go wrong I just kind of pushed it away because I just wanted a perfect relationship,” she said.
Her friend at school convinced her to leave the relationship and to seek the support of the Domestic and Family Violence Specialist Service.
The service assists more than 1000 women across the Hastings every year.
