Getting physical with Geoffrey Edelsten

Geoffrey Edelsten has, of course, been in the news recently.

His autobiography, Enigma, is a rollicking read. During his single days, one of his notable flings was with busty blonde Number 96 siren Abigail, who was desired by many.

Edelsten wrote: ''She was an animal in bed, a ferocious lover who left me gasping.''

Before dessert, they had dinner and Edelsten was baffled when Abigail ordered a carrot.

The wearer of bedazzling diamantes also recounts losing his virginity under the stars in the back garden of the home of the lucky girl — after she put a sheet on the wet grass.

''With the ground sheet squeaking beneath us, I became a true man.'' It's best I stop right here.

Lazenby chased by two Bonds

His name is Lazenby, George Lazenby. The actor who played debonair James Bond in On Her Majesty's Secret Service will be at the Astor tomorrow to introduce a remastered version of the 1969 film. The Australian-born man who played the famous secret agent will take part in a Q&A to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Bond franchise but fans should contain their excitement because Lazenby won't be sharing all of himself. A note to ticket-holders says: ''Mr Lazenby will not be posing for fan photographs or signing autographs.'' That is because he's in Oz for the Armageddon Expo fan-fest and will be posing for happy snaps and signing autographs for a fee. Two fans extremely interested in Lazenby's visit are Michael Ward and Stephen Hall, performers in the show Bond-A-Rama! who re-create scenes from 22 Bond films in 75 minutes. The stunt marathon occurs at Chapel off Chapel from October 17, a highlight being a video message from Lazenby. The duo tracked him down in LA and what could have been a mission impossible became possible after months of emailing and, finally, a ''yes''. Then Ward and Hall jumped on a plane and filmed the clip.

Lazenby may not be as forthcoming as he was in a documentary about Bond's 50th anniversary when recalling the role's tremendous fringe benefits. ''I don't want to brag, but I had at least one girl a day,'' he said. ''There was a tent on set where the stuntmen used to keep the mattresses they fell on in fight scenes. It was a good place to take a chick if you were in a hurry.'' Lazenby is invited to Bond-A-Rama! to reminisce about his martini-sipping, pistol-pointing days and his special bond with the ladies.

Goldblum still alive

Despite being declared dead in a premature tweet by Channel Nine's Richard Wilkins, US actor Jeff Goldblum is still very much alive. We know this because 3AW's celebrity magnet Donna Demaio is holidaying in LA, saw him and being someone who always obtains photographic evidence of her A-list encounters, she posed with Goldblum.

Her holiday scrapbook also has snaps with singer Keith Urban in LA and actor Matthew Broderick in NY. Wait, there's more. Someone else she saw in LA was Aussie menswear designer Dom Bagnato, but this time he posed with her hubby, Michael Wooldridge.

Frodo's tennis lesson

There's tennis elbow and an elbow for tennis. Captain Frodo, the pliable performer who squeezes his body through unstrung tennis racquets, is reaching for the sweatbands for the Melbourne Festival premiere of La Soiree tomorrow.

The ensemble comprises stars from La Clique, the triple-A avantgardists who'll turn the Forum into a eye-popping den of cabaret, burlesque and vaudeville. Norwegian-born Frodo, the son of a magician who calls Melbourne home, headlines the show with Ursula Martinez and her vanishing hanky, David O'Mer, the ''Bath Boy'', and bewitching others.

A ticket to the premiere is so in demand that people who have not been invited have brazenly emailed the publicist to RSVP, even offering to audition for a ticket by contorting through a tennis racquet.

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