“Mal, come in here,’’ Editor Bell said to this correspondent the other day.

“Name’s Mick,’’ we replied walking into her lavish office.

“Whatever, look at this,’’ she said. “We have a finalist in the NSW Citizen of the Year award.’’

We were stunned. Someone has at last had the good sense to nominate us for a major award. We’re being rewarded for all the selfless deeds we perform over the years. It now seems worthwhile.

Now obviously it is an honour to be nominated, but we’re not over the line yet as far as getting the gong. We suppose we’ll have to organise a day off, just in case we are selected.

And what does one wear to such an occasion? We perhaps should buy a new suit and maybe even wear a tie, for we don’t want to look out of place among the other dignitaries.

We even started to rehearse our acceptance speech.

“Your excellency, the State governor ... (memo to self, must find out who the State governor is), it is indeed an honour to accept the award in recognition of the years of wonderful service ...’’

We imagine life will be busy as the reigning Citizen of the Year. We’ll be inundated with offers to speak at sundry Rotary clubs (memo to self, check out which Rotary club has the best menu and supplies a booze bus). We’ll possibly get you-beaut seats at the NRL grand final as well as the State of Origin. 

However, we were soon snapped back to reality by Editor Bell, who had been blathering on while we’d been dreaming.

“Imagine that,’’ she said.

“We both once worked with a potential NSW Citizen of the Year.’’

“Once worked,’’ we joked.

“You still do, unless I’m about to be sacked.’’

Editor Bell gave us a curious look. Then she shattered our illusion. Did so with a smile as well.

“You’re not nominated Mark. Narelle Campbell is. What would you get nominated for? Writing s.....t columns is hardly a category.’’

We were shattered. And somewhat confused.

“Doesn’t Narelle work in advertising?’’ we asked.

“Usually organises the office Christmas party, if we recall correctly. And the name’s Mick.’’

“Narelle hasn’t worked here for 20 years,’’ Editor Bell snarled.

“Then again, neither have you.’’

(Memo to self, really must pay greater attention as to who our fellow employees are).

Editor Bell then gave a lengthy diatribe on Narelle’s many adventures. She’s currently domiciled in Davis Island (wherever that is) doing important stuff, or so Editor Bell lectured.

And now Narelle’s in line to be the State’s No 1 citizen.

Well, good on her we now magnanimously say. If we can’t be named citizen of the year, and it is apparent we’re not going to be, well, we hope Narelle is. And who knows, she might need some company when she gets the best seats for the NRL grand final and the State of Origin.

Stop press: Since this s....t was scribbled we’ve contacted Narelle at Davis Station (wherever that is) to congratulate her as well as complain about our snubbing by local citizen of the year organisers. She kindly said she’ll nominate us for the Greater Taree City Senior Citizen of the Year.

“You’re a shoe in,’’ she wrote.

Senior citizen? Oh, better than nothing we suppose. (Memo to self, find out if there is a senior citizen of the year.)