TO borrow from (the late) Gough in 1972, It's Time.
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It seems like only 10 years ago since we last went shopping for clothes. And we suppose, it was.
However, it's time to update our wardrobe. We came to this conclusion the other day when dressing for yet another A-Lister function we were required to attend. (Saturday afternoons at the Manning are now considered THE place to be seen). It was about then we started to realise our attire was starting to get a bit ... aged.
One look at the t-shirts we had to select from was proof of this.
There were two Sydney Roosters grand final supporter shirts circa 2003 and 2004 (we lost both by the way. Grand finals we mean).
Then there was a Chatham Scoop touch footy reunion shirt from 2001 and a Taree Old Bar Surf Club reunion model from 2005 along with one we secured at the Oktoberfest in 1985, which was have to admit has seen better days. We probably should donate it to the Manning Historical Society.
A deeper excavation discovered an old Foggs Hotel shirt that, if memory serves us correctly, we bought as a Mother's Day gift way back in the 1980s sometime. Mum never did like it for reasons never explained. However we kept it for sentimental reasons.
And they were the best of them.
Shorts! Shorts? You've never seen the like. Well, actually, if you head to the Manning on a Saturday afternoon you probably have, because we only ever seem to wear the one pair. They're the ones that fit us. Almost.
We blame the demise of the Flair Fashions for our current dilemma. As mentioned many times previously, this correspondent was a great fan of Flair. We'd closely monitor the pub shorts and t-shirts category each year to keep up with the latest trends. We'd wear designer labels to the hostelry looking all very upbeat and sophisticated. However, now that Flair is f ... sorry ... finished, we're stranded.
But what to do? Where to go? Remember this correspondent lives on a limited budget given the many charities that we have to support. So who do we consult on the latest fashions?
As a starting point we wandered down to the nearest sports store where we were sure we would get sage advice.
Moments after walking in we noticed a pair of smart looking shorts that appealed as the perfect pub wear.
"Can we try these on?'' we asked the proprietor.
"Go for you life,'' he replied, not even looking up from the form guide.
So we did. And we were horrified. For instead of a zip on the fly, there were buttons. Buttons?
We immediately complained.
"What sort of idiot would replace a zip with buttons?'' we demanded.
"Zips are SO last year. Buttons are now de rigueur,'' the proprietor replied.
Now buttons, while probably safer, would take some negotiating, particularly late in the evening after a solid session of discussing the world's many problems. It could get, well, messy. So there's no buttons for this correspondent.
We're way out of our depth here. The world of pub fashions has zoomed past us. We're stuck in a time warp.
We've been in such a state of shock with shorts that we haven't even looked for shirts yet. Woe is us.
It looks as though our old clothes are going to have to struggle through another summer. And then winter will arrive and we'll be looking for designer track suit pants. The world of high fashion - it's just a vicious cycle.