WE'RE devastated to report that we're not going to Davis Station this year.
We've long pined to go there. However, circumstances have prevented us from making a trek to the colder climes. Heart broken. We're absolutely heart broken.
We're fully aware that there would be a minority of readers out there who possibly don't know where Davis Station is. Well, we can report it's in the Antarctica. A barren, lifeless boring place we'd expect. Probably like a cooler version of Nabiac.
However, it all comes to life (unlike Nabiac) on June 21 when they celebrate Midwinter. Davis Station is Party Central.
This correspondent has been officially invited to the fandango. Via e-mail, Glenthorne's most travelled expat Narelle Campbell implored us to join in the festivities.
Narelle used to work here at the Times. She was a...um, well, we're not 100 per cent sure what she was employed as, but she was here for a while, anyway. Her main role we think was to organise the Christmas Party, which she did with aplomb.
Narelle's been to sundry places all over the world since but now calls chilly Davis Station home. And from what we understand, she uses all the training she had at the Times to organise the Midwinter Festivities.
As mentioned Davis Station is in Antarctica. Now if we recall our high school geography and history, Antarctica is somewhere south of what's left of Old Bar. It was discovered by the Vikings, who shagged all the seals and pillaged all the penguins.
Anyway, Narelle cordially, no less, invited us to join the 67th ANARE (whatever they are) to celebrate Midwinter, as previously explained.
Editor Bell was also invited and expressed some interest in attending. This is the same Editor Bell who comes to work wearing 15 layers of clothing when the temperature drops below 26. Yeah, you'd love Davis Station Editor Bell.
Now we'd like nothing more than celebrating Midwinter by downing a couple of ales with those party animals, the 67th ANARE. We've made a few inquires and found that Davis Station offers 'an exclusive mix of luxury....including skis, toboggans, ice climbing gear and survival packs.' What more could anyone ask for?
And we have to admit our social diary is pretty vacant at the moment. Why, we didn't receive one - not one - invitation to any of the event in the much anticipated Winter Festival. It's a well known fact that this column has been a fanatical supporter of the Winter Festival for eons yet we've been snubbed. More will be heard of this although we're getting slightly off the point here.
But the problem with going to Davis Station, apart from the logistics of getting to the god forsaken place and the possibility of getting frost bite, is that Midwinter is also the most important part of the year - mid footy season.
We'll bet that Davis Station doesn't have a rugby league team. Why, they probably don't even get the NRL on television there. Celebrating Midwinter is all well and good, but what's the point if we can't get regular updates on how the Roosters are faring. True, we'd possibly enjoy knocking over a keg or three of Penguin Lager with our great friends, the 67th ANARE, but really, our heart wouldn't be in it.
So we can only thank Narelle for the kind invitation. Unfortunately we won't be there, but we're sure it will be a hoot. Organise something mid-summer and we'll think about it. Assuming they get mid-summer at Davis.