This column’s regular reader will recall GTCC followed up the blockbuster Australia back in 2008 or thereabouts, with Taree the Movie.

It was a box office sensation. “If you only see one movie this year, don’t waste your time watching this one,’’ and “The greatest cinematic triumph since Rescue from Gilligan’s Island,’’ screamed the promos.

So naturally there has to be a sequel. Production companies are lining up to get the rights to Taree 2, at this stage tentatively titled, ‘Taree, the city the pothole swallowed’.

In a bid to crack the US market, executives have decided to use mainly overseas talent despite protests from Taree Arts Council. It’ll be a doco/drama, with action starting in the early hours of the morning when photographer Carl Muxlow (Paris Hilton) is out searching for celebrities to snap. Muxlow heads to MaxFM/2RE where he is greeted by The Diceman (Adele), who, typically shuns publicity as he is running late for work, having acted as master of ceremonies the previous evening at the wedding of high profile Taree A-list couple Cr Katheyn Bell (Alyssa Milano) and Jim Boyce (Billy Connolly).

Shift then to Greater Taree City Council where there’s trouble brewing. Mayor Paul Hogan (the role to be reprised by Paul Hogan) and general manager Gerard Jose (Erik Estrada) meet a delegation of disgruntled councillors, led by Alan Tickle (Danny Devito), who are concerned at the impact coal seam gas mining may have on the upcoming Local Government Election.

Cr Hogan (Hogan) acts quickly to quell their fears, explaining that council will only allow mining in the deepest of potholes.* This, he says, is a fair compromise but warns it must be kept secret from the community, especially the Manning Valley Chambers of Commerce (The Muppets) until after the election.

But Cr Eddie Loftus (Charlie Sheen) is far from placated, believing this is a left wing plot aimed at shoring up the green vote. He organises a meeting with the local paper’s columnist/sports writer (George Clooney) and senior reporter Helen Manusu (Helen Mirren). The sports writer is already under siege from his editor (Joan Collins) and general manager (Boy George) as he fights for world peace, better facilities at the Jack Neal Oval and a cure for gout.

In a sub plot there’s unrest on the industrial front with high school teachers threatening to strike unless awarded shorter working hours and more holidays. A delegation led by Taree High firebrand and union agitator Toni Fatherley (Little Pattie) meets with besieged federal MP Rob Oakeshott (Chips Rafferty) in a bid to find a resolution.

Oakeshott needs some positive press because The National Party (Beavis and Butthead) is determined to reclaim the seat at the next federal election and is searching the area looking for potential candidates. This sets the scene as the film winds to a dramatic conclusion.

Who will represent The Nationals? Will the councillors revolt against the pot hole mining plan? Will the school teachers strike? Will the Roosters win the comp?**

All these questions and more will be answered. Tickets for the red carpet opening night go on sale soon.

*This could actually be council policy

**This has nothing to do with the movie, we were just asking, that’s all.